Tanya Writes About Joe Bing

As an author, I know first hand the high standard of grammar and style publishers and readers expect. I figured that plowing through vast wastelands of student essays during my years as an English teacher had "taught" me all I needed to know.
Yet my editors always show me tons of improvements. I listen and learn.

Because I am a rule-rollower.

And I’m a good speller, so messing with words gets to me. There are phonics. There are rules!

Driving down an L.A. freeway recently, I noticed a job-search billboard. Jobing.com. It was so eye-catching. And maddening. In trying for a cute little modern term all their own, the designers used "jobing" as a gerund. JOBING. You know, an ING-word like dancing. Sleeping. Eating. Only there are rules of phonics. The single B gives the O a long sound! Joe Bing. Period.

Aaaargh.

Around here, there's a local business named for the family. Todey. Now, in any English-speaking world, that's phonetically an easy one: TOE-dy. But the disclaimers abound on their license plate holders, their ads, their stationery. "We're not "TOADy We're Toddy." Well, news for ya. It is TOADY. That "e" after a vowel give “o” a long sound.

Aaaaargh.

Then there's some athlete's name I noticed during my family's fantasy football season.. Tedy Bruschi. Now, that's an easy one, too. TEEdy BROOSHee.
Only in that alternate dimension, it's TEDDY BROOSKEE.
Aaaargh.

Then there’s the recent article in our local newspaper. Social Security rolls now record 46 different spellings of the female first name McKensie. MacKenzie. et al. Forty six! As a test, my hero and I sat down and tried to come up with some possibilities. Even between the two of us, we didn't come close, although we did conclude that the apostrophe has now become a letter of the alphabet.

The most mysterious version was: M'kezine.

Might as well have named her Time, because…isn’t that actually a misspelling of magazine?

Now, I get it when SpellCheck comes up with "Pepperoni" for Pepperdine University. (I used to be a college counselor too.) But come on. M’kezine?

Here’s a brain-teaser for ya. I just read about a bohemian artist and designer who runs a great boutique, Show Pony. Her name is Kime Buzzelli.
Curious, I e-mailed her as to the pronunciaton of her first name. Does it rhyme with, well rhyme? Like time? Is it KYE-me? Kim? Kimmie?

She wrote back, said I could blog about it.

How do you think she pronounces it?

Any modern-day tweaks of grammar or spelling that make you nuts?

Tanya Writes About Her Award-Winning Chili

I will write all about yesterday's LAF
"Livestrong"
Walk/Run
/Ride in the
beautiful Santa Ynez valley
but I need time to upload the pix and we're off in a little bit to the fam's fantasy football league KICK-OFF party.

Spending the day with my favorite people --my kids, grandbaby, other relations and friends-- is my best kind of day. Before I sign off, I'm gonna pass along the recipe for which I won The Chili Bowl at the 2008 annual cook-off held each year during the Super Bowl...at which time also the most covered award in sports, our fantasy league trophy, is handed out.

(However, I have not claimed that trophy yet...)

Here's a pic of me with my hero and The Bowl at Yankee Stadium. And it's a "traveling" trophy which meant I took it along to New York with us!

This is a simple taco soup I got from a church cook-book with some of my own spin. And it's quite delish, if I do say so myself.

2 pounds ground beef or turkey.
1 envelope taco seasoning
1 1/2 cps water.
1 can (15 oz) mild chili beans
1 can (15 oz) whole kernel corn...or cut from two fresh cobs
1 can (15 oz) pinto beans, rinsed and drained. (For best effect, get the pintos
with jalapenos.)
1 can (15 oz) stewed tomatoes.
1 can (10 oz) diced tomatoes and green chilies, undrained
1 can (4 oz) chopped Ortega chilis
1 envelope ranch salad dressing mix
Add to your taste: a couple teaspoons jalapenos, juice from jalapenos, any taco or chili sauce.
Salt and pepper to taste.

In large kettle, brown meat and drain. Add taco seasoning and mix well. Stir in remaining ingredients, simmer uncovered for 15 minutes...or until heated through. Stir occasionally. Yields 6-8 servings.

For my award-winner, I slow-cooked all ingredients [meat cooked first] in my football-shaped Crock Pot for several hours. It was rarin' to go at tasting time.

Enjoy....and livestrong.

Tanya Writes About "Lemon Jello" and Fantasy Football

Well, our vacation last week came at a good time. We booked it, as well as four other trips, during my hero's chemo treatments late last winter to remind us that we have a future. But this getaway arrived when we needed it most --helping me relax over losing our sweet Marley...and keeping him sort of calm as he faces (tomorrow) his first post-chemo CT scan.

Now, Dr. Schwartz is almost certain of a cure, but there's that "almost" for the first year or two when TC must be closely monitored. And while our confidence is high and our spirits are good, there's always that little demon of worry worming its way inside our heads.

I can't deny we get fretful and twirly.

So a few days ago, I had the Spa Treatment of ALL Spa Treatments to keep me calm. Oh, wow. It was the next-best-thing to, well, you know. Its name is "Limoncello" but lemon jello makes me smile.



First off came a Polynesian ritual involving a foot bath and foot massage, all tinged with lemon scent. Spa music by earphone. Little tinkling Zen bells. Awesome.

Then a personalized massage with lemon -scented aromatherapy. (I like Swedish with a tad of deep tissue mixed in...just go easy with the elbow.) Then lemon sorbet and herb-tinted water. Yummo.

Finally, something I've never seen or done. In the same therapy room, another massage table of teak, with drains. No, not like an autopsy stand. Comfy and towely...and here went the lemon body scrub followed by a body-length vichy shower with about ten spouts that washed everything off...to be followed by another massage with lemon body butter.

Oh goodness, that was lemon-heaven.

And while this was going on, my hero plotted my team for our family's Fantasy Football League. He loves "coaching" two teams...and every Super Bowl Sunday there is a trophy (and money) for the league winner. So far, it's never been me. But the day includes a Chili Cook-off...and after five years of my intense whining, my chili received top honors last January! (I'll get the award-winning recipe posted one of these days.)



All I really care about is naming my team and talking trash. I've already begun posting insults to my league-mates. This year I selected the name Wild Thang and am busy designing my jersey for the T-shirt contest. Kick-off party is Sunday at my son and DIL's. (Last year the baby was my "assistant coach" but this year his daddy snagged him for his "avatar"...)

(I had considered One Hot Mama after Trace Adkins but think I'll use that for my new ringtone instead.)

So wish me luck in this new season of smack-talk.

Also...wish my hero all your good thoughts and blessings, and bombard heaven with those prayers!

Thanks...and livestrong.