Saturday, May 10, 2008

Tanya Writes About Daughters


Now, I know I have a son, too. And he's got a son. And my hero's a son. But I've got some special daughters to write about. Next month--the birthday month of two of my guys, I'll hit their male counterpart.

Daughters. Oh, expecting my second child in those pre-ultrasound days, how I wanted a little girl to book-end our toddling son. We did the wedding-ring swing over my tummy and it precursed a girl...and I was chubby all over, not the watermelon that had been our son. So all the stars were aligning.

And a week before due date, just before Christmas, there she was! She had all her fingers and toes, ate like a champ, and never ever cried.

Until her thirteenth day. She cried and never stopped, ran a fever of 107.

Bacterial meningitis.


Thanks to medical science and our dear and generous Lord, she was declared out of danger with no residual damages on Christmas Eve! Tell me God doesn't exist, doing something like that on His Son's birthday.

She went on to be an honor student, award-winning athlete, cum laude grad from college...Daddy's little girl, and one of my best friends.

Having her at my side when the doctor told us her dad's tumor was indeed malignant was so good for me.

So terrible for her.

Having her at my side when he was too weak to walk, when he shed tears over the unendurable pain, was so good for me.

So terrible for her.

Having her wipe away my tears and her own when Dr. Schwartz announced remission was so good for us both.

But two dear writer friends of mine had daughter-experiences during these same days.
One is almost too heart-rending to consider, as Darlene had to spread her daughter's ashes.

One is so full of joy I can almost reach out and hug my friend's new baby--all the way in China.

Darlene's precious girl took her own life after years of emotional struggle. Although Darlene is a woman so full of faith I envy her...(BTW she writes award-winning inspirationals...) she has pondered on such a tragedy and how it might have been prevented. It couldn't have been. Her Jolene struggled with demons none of us can understand and found her own source of solace.

So on this Mother's Day, I envision Jolene in the arms of the heavenly Father, begging Him to send tons of comfort down to her mom and gramma.

Paula's precious 8-month old Chinese baby girl will come to her new home in North Carolina in June...after a process that took almost three years. Amazing. China doesn't want their baby girls but makes it hard for decent, well-off, freedom-thinking people to adopt them.

Arrrrrrrrgh.

As for me, my hero and I will be with all our dear ones tomorrow. I told the kids I don't need anything, but if they gotta...I'd like thata DVD of Drew Barrymore and the Red Sox fanatic (can't recall the title but having been at a game in Fenway a few months ago, it seems like a fun movie to watch again.)

And they could adopt a wolf in my name.

(That's another passion: animals.)

Sigh. The sun is out, our two black Labs are freshly groomed and fragrant, and health reins.

God is good. He did have mercy.

Kyrie eleison.
Thanks.

1 comment:

Christi said...

i'm so glad i'm your daughter! and, how lucky are we that we can look back on our hard times with relief and gratitude? not everyone is that blessed.

my college crush Joe Johnson died in his sleep this week at 28. perfectly healthy. profoundly heartbreaking.

we're so lucky mommy!