I just finished a good cry. It's dark and lonely. Now, I know I mentioned once that it's sunny here, but I lied a bit. We live on the coast and fog and gloomy clouds are quite the norm.
And that's what's going on right now. Deep gray gloom. And with the mood I'm in, the gloom seems palpable. I just went outside, like I do each morning, to fill the bird feeder and pause at the crucifixes, St. Francis statue, and fountain we've used as patio decor. Then I beseech heaven.
Oh today I yelled! Inside my head of course. We have great neighbors and it's too early for a rant on a Saturday morning. I want so bad to be a person of faith and I'm just so darn weak.
My hero sleeps and sleeps...ate a yummy dinner our precious neighbor brought over last night. He actually enjoyed it and couldn't keep it down! First time in eight weeks.
I just don't get any of this.
But my sister and her husband are on the way! Now, anybody who knows me knows I don't have a sister. I was born inbetween two brothers. While we had a happy childhood, we grew up definitely NOT into a Norman Rockwell painting. No John-Boy and Jim-Bob and Shish-ka-Bob around the picnic table for us.
Better, I have Roberta. My heroe's sister. And mine. Truer than any blood connection. We've always been good buds, maid of honor for each other. She's our daughter's godmother. And now in this deep crisis, she's here for us--for me--every step of the way despite the two-hours that separate us in distance. (In Southern California you don't talk distance in miles. It's freeway hours.) Cards. E-mails. Phone calls. Presents. Visits almost every weekend.
And best of all, she brings along her husband. Our true brother. His love for us is completely unconditional.
So the gloom lightens a bit as I count the blessing God has given us in Roberta and Timmy. I couldn't be making it without either of them.
They are two of the sweetest of all my hearts.
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